How being yourself is the most important thing you can do - shannon furgeson

     It's common for teenagers to want to act like they're something else, or more specifically, someone else. No matter what a girl or guy does between the ages of 13 and 19, it's likely that it won't be deemed "popular" or "cool." Teenagers end up trying to fit in in order to be one of the "cool kids," but they often lose their true selves during the process. Even though it's cheesy, being your true self is the best version of you, not some made up people-pleasing version, where you do things for the view of others not for the happiness of yourself. It is so important to be yourself, because there is no one that is like you, and the world would be missing out if they aren't getting your authentic self.   

    Over the past 10 months, I've learned this lesson first hand. Being at home all the time and not being in school has taught me that I don't have to try as hard (or at all) to please others, when pleasing my self should be my number one priority. While I was in school and seeing my peers everyday, I did my best to dress like everyone else, look the way society wants, and act "normal." Being at home and with my family (also a very important part of my life) and being myself as I always have been at home has made me come to a conclusion: why am I putting on this facade of my real self, when I am so much happier when I am true to who I want to be?  

    I would say I started learning more about myself, who I truly wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life during our first lock down, but honestly, that time was mostly spent for some nice R&R after years of overworking myself and being too busy to even know how to be myself. It was during this second quarantine that I started doing what I actually wanted, and not in order to please societies standards. Some may think these are "old lady" activities, but in order to keep myself productive, I picked up new skills, like crocheting, doing a puzzle (actually, that one is still unfinished but I'm working on it), and one of my favorites, reading. For some reason, these activities that are brain food are deemed "weird" or "abnormal," like I should instead spend my time practicing sports or trying to impress a guy. I also find my true self pretty goofy and weird, and because of this I don't think I would by any means fall under the category of "popular" or "cool." But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love Marvel movies and Greek mythology and cheesy music-oriented TV shows and movies (specifically GLEE) and dancing like it's nobody's business! And if I was trying to please others, I wouldn't have found my interest in the things that I love to do.   

 

    Once I accepted that I am who I am, I started opening up and sharing my true self with my friends. And the best part is, they loved my weird, creative self more than my "fake" self. I was also learning that by setting an example that it's okay to be "weird" because being "cool" is boring, Popularity is subjective! Teenagers don't just enter adolescence being this shining star in middle school and high school. It's their peers that determine what is popular and what is not. Just because someone is a "cool kid" doesn't mean that they have to be a cool kid to you! And that's the great thing! You can be yourself and not be a fan of the person you're stereo-typically supposed to "idolize," and you're probably doing yourself a favor! Put all that energy you would focus towards the popular kid, and use it to better yourself instead. And if said "cool kid" doesn't think I'm cool, I won't be offended or upset or self conscious about the things I say and do, because the most important thing to me, is that I am "cool" to myself. I am "cool" because I do what I want, I don't care what people think, and I live my best, most exciting and extravagant life because of it.  

     So, for anyone who is struggling with their real identity, here is a piece of advice I learned from someone close to me that I think might help you to be your weird self: More often than not, the people who are mean in high school (often considered the popular kids) end up having deeper rooted personal issues, and often don't end up very successful in life (not that I wish failure on anyone, and this is just advice I've heard, so if you're considered popular and worried about not having success, just be nice to everyone and don't judge others and you'll be fine), and the kids who work hard, are exceedingly kind, and do what they love to do, end up with the most success, and enjoying themselves more than those who are faking it. If you only learn one thing from reading this article, I hope it's that you learn to stop pretending and do what you want, or what feels right to you, and the people who love you for you, and even have similar interests as your true self, will follow.  

**Disclaimer: this is by no means a way to insult people who are considered "popular." I used quotations around these words, because it is a general idea about popularity, but like I said earlier, popularity is subjective, so what might be "popular" to one person could be "lonely" for another. If you are popular and are being your true self, I am happy for you! Keep it up! No hate or "beef" about anyone, just trying to show the importance of letting your true colors shine:)